What a gift!

Why is it that our lives have to be shattered before we surrender? Why do we as humans/alcoholics, insist on trying it our way and anyone else's way, before we give it to God? I am grateful for who I am today, even with my life in pieces around me. I am definitely not the same person I was three years and seven months ago. I am grateful to the people that have called me out on my bullshit and pointed out the character defects that I have so that I could give those to God and change the very person that I am. I am human, I am a woman, I am strong, I am dependable today, I honor my commitments today and I wake up every day and do the best I can with what I've got. Not so bad for a drunk, huh? I make mistakes, I am not perfect and I am okay with that. I find myself being grateful again for the kit of spiritual tools that I have lying at my feet, just waiting there for me to pick them up. The book says – "Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime." I am excited to read that I am not expected to become a perfect "little sunbeam for God" immediately, that I will make mistakes, I will cause more harm, I will let people down, I will not be perfect. But it's ok. I am instructed to pick up the kit of tools again and right the wrongs as soon as possible. At least I have instructions. I am grateful for that. Plus I have women in this program that help guide me when I have lost my way. What an amazing gift!