Gratefulness

I'm doing ok. I have an AWESOME kid, a great place to live, a decent job and many, many friends. I have my sobriety, although I almost lost it, I have it. I have the tools I need to make sure that I don't make the same mistakes again. I have my life. I have my freedom. I have the ability to create ANY life that I want – for me and my daughter. I get to wipe the slate clean. I get free do-overs. I get to choose the things I want out of life instead of settle for what I have. Losing one of my dearest friends showed me that life is short and I need to get every single moment out of it. I will not waste my moments being miserable. I will cherish any sadness or pain that I feel and relish in the fact that I am truly alive to feel it. I will cherish these "growth opportunities" as they come my way. I am human. I am not perfect. Who would want to be perfect? I get to wake up every day and decide who I am going to be. I get to go to sleep every night in the same house as my daughter, after I get to tuck her into bed – EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I get to lay on the couch with her and watch Nick at Night, EVERY night. I get to have conversations with her every day. I get to play games with her every day. She is the BEST part of my life. I have SO MUCH to be grateful for. I have only myself and my daughter to answer to, to be responsible for, to care for and to work my ass off for – which I do willingly – so that we can have a great life. I have had a lot stolen from me – my time, my energy, my love, my adoration, my loyalty, my willingness to change those parts of me that cause harm and any sense of self worth that four months of sobriety gets you – but oh, I have SO MUCH left and I have learned many valuable lessons. I am grateful that I get to feel brand new again, I get to use the spiritual kit of tools that have been laid at my feet and I get the opportunity to get to know myself again – and I didn't have to drink to get here. What a blessing. I have experienced some of the wonderful things that the program has to offer and oh, thank God, I get to experience it more and more, for myself this time.